Merry Christmas

As I mentioned in yesterday's post to pray for Michael Spencer it was one year ago that I began my cancer treatment journey.  At this hour last year I was probably starting to come out of anesthesia. 

As I look back over the year it has truly been a Dickensian "best of times, worst of times" kind of year.  But as best I know my own heart I sit here typing today with a greater sense of gratitude than anything else.  It's not regret, it's not disappointment, it's not fear, it's not worry, although I still experience all of those on occasion.  I am mostly grateful.  I am grateful to be with my family this year.  I am thankful for the experience of feeling good.  I am thankful that our church, a smallish, struggling church has stood by me over the past year. Can you imagine what it would be like for me in another situation.  I am unable to work full time, so I would probably have been cut loose and put on some kind of disability pay with reduced benefits, my wife would probably be having to work full time and try to take care of me.  But because God has given us local outpost of the Kingdom of Heaven I have been taken care of in unusual ways.

My family is with me.  One of the sad realities of cancer and other life-threatening illness is that there are some spouses for whom the trauma of their loved-one's illness is too much.  They themselves can't handle the trauma and sometimes they leave.  I had a friend in seminary for whom that very thing happened.  He and his wife were both on their second marriage and his wife had lost her first husband to cancer.  When my friend was diagnosed, she couldn't handle seeing another husband go through this and she left him to fight alone.

Not only has my wife stood with me through this, but she has stood by me.  She has been with me at every treatment, has laid down with me while I cried, has cheered me and generally been there to meet my every need throughout the last year.

My sons graduated last year and this is the year they could have gone off to college.  But they have stayed home and have been a constant source of entertainment and encouragement and have picked up the slack for dad in numerous ways.  And my daughter continues to grow and mature in so many ways and is a constant source of entertainment and intellectual stimulation.

Most of all, I am grateful that God has put me through a situation that has caused my faith in Him to become real.  All these years I have been in ministry and have been on a constant quest to make the gospel relevant to my hearers.  I now see that as misguided.  The question is not how we can make the gospel relevant to us, but how we can make ourselves relevant to God.  In other words, God defines reality and it is our task to conform our lives to reality as He defines it, not "make Him" relevant to us.  He is always relevant, but we are often irrelevant to Him.

As eternal matters have been at the forefront of my everyday life this year I have been compelled to begin to get a glimpse of life from God's perspective. I am most grateful for the theology of the cross. For years I had heard about it, but I am beginning to get a wee bit of understanding and experience of it.  It's just a taste but the taste is great. 

And I hope I have said this before, but just in case, let me say thanks again to all of you who have prayed for me and encouraged me over the past year.  You have been God's agents of grace to me this past year and I do hope your Christmas is indeed a joyous one.  

Comments

[Tara Barthel]

Amen and Amen! And we love you, Pastor Wayne.

[Bobby Grow]

The Theology of the Cross is God's wisdom! To grow in the knowledge of it, hurts; but I know that those in eternity, already, look at going through something like cancer wish they could've if they hadn't.

I'm continuing to pray for Michael as well (and Matt C. and a multitude of others, I wish I didn't have to pray for all these people like this, including you, David).

In Christ,

Bobby

[[email protected]]

I don't know you, but I wish I did. Today, I pray for your strength and comfort. I pray for others to be blessed and taught by your gratitude. I pray a prayer of thanksgiving for your wonderful family.

[Wendy McCallum]

Likewise, I do not know you but I praise God for the testimony of Romans 8:28 in your life.

[Julana Schutt]

I'm sorry to hear about Michael's illness. I've always appreciated both of you.
God be with you both.