It's been awhile since I've updated you on my health and blogged on much of anything. So here's a recap of the last month or so.
Everything was going on as normal with the chemo with the normal ups and downs till about three weeks ago then the cumulative effects pretty well caught up with me and I was getting pretty miserable. Nothing earth shattering or new, the fatigue was just much more intense and continuous.
I told the doc about this last week and he decided to put me on ritalin. I sort of cracked up at the thought since you usually associate ritalin with unfocused kids and teenagers. But he said this should help give me some energy back so it was worth a try. I've been on it now for about 4 days and the difference is night and day - I feel almost normal. Still tired, but almost normal.
One of my biggest struggles through this whole thing has been my fear of becoming drug dependent and so I still don't like it that I need the ritalin to get me up and going (I also need drugs to help me get to sleep) but this stuff does help me function and the medical folks tell me not to worry about it, so for now I'll stick with it.
I'd be curious if there are any folks out there from the nouthetic school of thought who have any opinions on me and my drug usage. This stuff not only helps me physically but it definitely elevates my mood.
On the cancer front the news is still good - in fact today I got some very good news. My CEA's are down. CEA is a blood marker for colon cancer, it's a kind of protein that colon cancer throws off that offers one indication on how things are going. I started off somewhere in the mid 50's, then it went down into the mid 40's and has stayed around 46 or 47 for probably the last 8-10 weeks. My latest CEA reading is 37 so that's a pretty significant improvement. This gives me great hope that I'll be able to go off the chemo soon because I'm getting pretty sick of it.
I do have a CT Scan next week so we'll find out if the tumors are still shrinking, I'm praying that is so.
And the good news is that regardless of how it's going, they are giving me a "drug holiday" in June so I can go to General Assembly. And this won't affect my status in the clinical trial I'm in. So I'll look forward to seeing all of my PCA buddies in Orlando in June.
Thanks again for your prayers.
Good to hear your spirit is strong throught this suffering. And when it's not...God is still just as near as before. A prayer for you now.
Posted by: Jan | May 18, 2009 at 01:39 PM
Excellent news. Ironically I've always heard Ritalin is like cocaine for adults but tends to have the opposite effect on kids.
Posted by: J. | May 18, 2009 at 07:43 PM
You've been in my prayers, Dave. And I'm glad to hear that the drugs are able to afford some relief for you. At CCEF, many of my instructors have said that drugs can be a way to minister grace to a person in the midst of suffering--and I have experienced this firsthand in my own life, and seen it in the lives of many close, Christian friends. Drugs can't change your heart or make you love God more, but they can certainly be a welcome stream/oasis in the middle of a "desert!"
Posted by: Emily | May 18, 2009 at 08:00 PM
David, I always read your updates and pray for you regularly. I am thankful you are feeling better, and tests are looking optomistic.
As far as the Ritalin, I wonder why this would even concern you. One of the main arguments for a child NOT to be on Ritalin is that he/she is not learning coping skills but is becoming dependent on a drug. Are you not learning necessary coping skills??? Lord willing when you are better, will you not be able to cope with “real life” because you’ve only learned to function with drugs? Of course not! Ridiculous! You’ve been coping with “real life”, with God’s help times 10 to the power of 2. The Lord is mercifully providing you with Ritalin to give you the energy that has been sapped and killed out of you (along with the cancer). If Ritalin was not available, the Lord would not be hampered and he would provide other means to give you the energy to serve him. God provides in many ways -- for his end and for his glory.
Long way of saying you using Ritalin and a parent deciding whether to start a young child on Ritalin are two different questions.
I’m sure some nouthetic counselors can give you Biblical arguments - but I just wanted to give you some motherly common sense. With my prayers! God Bless.
Posted by: Chris Dattilo | May 18, 2009 at 08:11 PM
Just a quick note to send our family's love and also second all of the "thank God for appropriate use of medicines" comments.
I, too, have really appreciate the wisdom of the CCEF authors/professors/theologians/counselors -- especially Ed Welch. His "Blame It on the Brain" and journal articles on bipolar have been particularly helpful to me (and the women I try to encourage/serve). I can't speak for him (of course) but my guess would be that he would say, "Praise God that you are being helped by this medicine and spiritual counsel / friendship / love too."
God bless you, Pastor Jollyblogger!
Your sister in Christ,
Tara B.
Posted by: Tara Barthel | May 19, 2009 at 12:03 AM
David ~ I am SOOOO glad to hear you are more energetic! I keep up with your blog entries and pray for you as led. I have no clue what the nouthetic school of thought is ... but, I DO know that I have prayed that you would have not just QUANTITY OF LIFE thru this cancer experience, but also QUALITY OF LIFE. That you would have energy to do the important things (esp. with Lynette and the kids), and the clarity of mind to be there for your family and congregation. That you would have peace and be able to think clearly and appreciate all the interactions you have with people. That you would be LIVING ABUNDANTLY these difficult months. So ... I am excited to see that God has answered my prayers! And in a way I hadn't expected! The Bible DOES tell us to pray and that God is faithful to hear us. So ... if anyone has a problem with the ritalin you can tell them it's my fault and God's fault. I suggest they take it up with Him.
Singing His Praise,
Leslie (& Dav & Dani)
Posted by: Leslie Gretz | May 19, 2009 at 02:51 PM
Gosh Dave,
I had to look up nouthetic but I have read Jay Adams books. I am an RN. For sure go with Ritalin. It takes alot of courage to face and go through this process. Believe me your in your right mind! Go with it for now. I think your awesome. Thanks for sharing all this. :>)
Posted by: Lizette | May 19, 2009 at 03:27 PM
To add to the chorus: the original nouthetizer, Jay Adams, railed against use of drugs as a substitute for dealing with spiritual/moral issues.
Ain't the case here, so ain't no problem, as I see it.
But then I'm slightly more nouthet-ish than nouthet-ic.
(c;
Posted by: Dan Phillips | May 20, 2009 at 09:18 AM
Worth watching:
http://deathisnotdying.com/eventvideo/
Posted by: J. | May 25, 2009 at 11:08 AM
I am so very glad to hear that you are doing better. It's great to see such an answer to prayer. Will pray that your spirit and ministry are renewed as your body strengthens. God Bless!
Posted by: Barry | June 02, 2009 at 10:27 PM