Whatever the Problem is, It's Not Me

Here's some wisdom from Wendell Berry via Patrick J. Deneen by way of Mere Comments.

The last thing we will consider is altering our own behavior—because, surely, someone else is at fault. The Oil Companies, the Saudis, Dick Cheney—anyone but me. As has been described by Jason Peters, editor of a fine volume on Berry, it’s like heavy traffic. Heavy traffic is always other people. When you say “traffic was terrible,” you’re never talking about yourself.

Wendell Berry asks us to understand how we are a cause of the terrible traffic we complain about. His basic argument is that we must become more thoughtful about what we are doing. We must seek to understand the ways in which we are ourselves complicit in bad work, and seek to avoid that complicity where possible and, better still, to do good work instead. He does not advise withdrawal from the world, but full and active engagement in it. He fully acknowledges that we are technological creatures: to survive and thrive we must use nature. But again, “we must know both how to use and how to care for what we use.”

I'm going to have to be careful here before I start throwing stones, since this is the story of my life.  But let me give a couple of examples of how I have seen this and even been party to it.

"We're having trouble in our marriage," not "I'm nagging him to death," or "I'm a lazy slob who expects her to wait on me hand and foot."

"We're having financial trouble," not "you know, maybe it wasn't such a good idea for me to buy that boat after all."

"Our church has problems," not "I and my fellow church members come to church with a consumeristic mindset every Sunday and expect to have it our way," or "my own leadership failures have led to lots of the problems we are now experiencing."

Other examples anyone?

Comments

[Mark Olson]

I know this isn't directly to the point, but whenever I see Mr Cheney's name touted as a typically whipping post to blame various things on ... I'm reminded that he gives about 80% of his annual income to charity. 80% ... consider that. I find it amazing.

[Angel]

There is this woman at my church and she is in a position that you really can't do much in the church without having to go thru her or deal with her in some manner. Well, she can be quite difficult at times and since I volunteer a lot, I deal with her a lot. I became so frustrated that I started praying to the Lord asking Him to make her easier to deal with.

After a few days of praying the same prayer ... the Lord spoke to my spirit and brought it to my attention that maybe I should be praying for myself. I needed patience and compassion ... and I needed to love her as Christ does. It changed my whole attitude.

[Bob]

"The public school system is a shambles. I'm going to private school." Followed by: "The private schools are too expensive and have just as many problems as the public schools. I'm going to home school."

Not "How can I become more involved in my school and best prepare my child value education, the importance of discipline, and the diversity of other students?" or "How can we build an environment that is most conducive to learning recognizing the fact that, for many kids, school is the most stable part of their day."