Teens, Sex, Forbidden Fruit - Gene Veith in World Magazine

I came across a timely article in the new World magazine by Gene Veith with a review of the book Forbidden Fruit by Mark Regnerus.  The reason it is timely is that I am preaching on wining the battle with sin this Sunday and will be focusing on how sin is more a matter of affections than discipline, and is cured by the gospel not works.  Veith summarizes the book's findings that show how the evangelical church's efforts to combat promiscuity have pretty much failed:

Christian parents and churches need to face up to a problem long hidden in the dark: Evangelical teenagers are just as sexually active as thier non-Christian friends.  In fact, there is evidence that evangelical teenagers on the whole may be more immoral than non-Christians.  Statistically, evangelical teens tend to have sex first at a younger age, 16.3, compared to liberal Protestants, who tend to lose their virginity at 16.7.  And young evangelicals are far more likely to have had three or more sexual partners (13.7 percent) than non-evangelicals.

What about abstinence pledges?  Those work - for awhile - delaying sex on an average  of about 18 months, with 88 percent of pledgers eventually giving up their vow to remain virgins until marriage.

Veith goes on to offer some suggestions as to how this might be addressed.

The law alone and external regulations cannot make anyone righteous.  We need Christ for that.

He also points out that many "born again" teenagers need to be evangelized. In other words, Veith is pointing out that the gospel, not pledges, external rules and regulations and things like that, is central to addressing this issue.

There is one matter of externals he addresses where I believe he is spot on.  I don't have a clue about how to implement his suggestions here but I think he is on to something: And the bible does offer a direct solution for people who are burning in lust (I Corintihans 7:9).  Adolescence - that time when a person is physically an adult but socially a child - is a modern invention.  In the past, people married much younger, as soon as they were sexually ready.  Today's culture postpones marriage while stretching celibacy to the breaking point. A counter-cultural church may do well to encourage younger marriages. . . .

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Tags: Religion, theology, church, Christian, Christians, sex, premarital sex, promiscuity, faith, teens, teenagers, teen sex, evangelical, evangelicals

Comments

[jurisnaturalist]

All of the discussion out there for why to maintain purity is a waste of time. As believers we don't practice our peculiar ethic because it works, or because we gain some temporal benefit, or because it leads to a healthier, happier, more prosperous life. No, we imitate Christ because He died for us and we have accepted his call to follow Him. We need more Bonhoeffer and less McDowell.

[danny bryant]

The thought of kids getting married younger is scary. I work with high school kids and the maturity is significantly lacking. I think, and can't say I really know, that people who got married younger in the past had lives of difficult struggle leaving them with life experience and maturity. Modern teenagers (on the whole - not all of them) haven't experienced life the way other generations had, so marriage could be a nightmare.

[danny bryant]

The thought of kids getting married younger is scary. I work with high school kids and the maturity is significantly lacking. I think, and can't say I really know, that people who got married younger in the past had lives of difficult struggle leaving them with life experience and maturity. Modern teenagers (on the whole - not all of them) haven't experienced life the way other generations had, so marriage could be a nightmare.

[jurisnaturalist]

Funny, one of my former students just got married last month. He is 20 years old and is working at a manufacturing plant. His wife just turned 17, works part-time at at fast food restaurant, and will be a junior in high school this year.

Many tried to object to their wedding, but I put my full effort into blessing their union and to preparing his mind for the responsibilities ahead. I also gave him a copy of Derek Prince's Husbands and Fathers.

Some of my other former students have ended up with bastardized children, or problems with pornography and online dating. How could I not encourage them to be married rather than burn in their lust?

We need to be more courageous, more imaginative, and perhaps a little more supportive of these young adults, instead of postponing adulthood forever.

[SoulTrawler]

Although I empathize with your idea of having kids marry earlier, I totally agree with the commenters above who brand that as a disaster in this society. Even my father (born in '27), who married the first time @ age 19 (lasted 6 months), still ended up getting divorced 3 times (and had he not died, who knows whether the 4th and last marriage wouldn't have ended in yet another divorce).

Partly bec. of the fiasco of his life, I have never married (inspite of 15 proposals, LOL!), and long before I became a Xtian (at age 21), I had a **HORROR** of 4nication. Somewhere deep down, I knew that sex was holy (no, it wasn't hammered into me---it wasn't talked about in my family at all) and extremely special, and that it was somehow connected to God's holiness (tho not bibled or churched, I was not an atheist, and I was VERY aware, deep down, of the holiness and wrath of God).

So what would I propose as the way to counter the promiscuity amongst teens? Plain and simple, I think we cannot emphasize enough THE **WRATH** of God against fornication. And we need to saturate the teens with images of gonorrhea, syphilis, AIDS (yes, I'm serious! THAT will be effective: fear of VD was another controller in my own life---and believe you me, my libido was like Niagara Falls); have people come in to classrooms and youth groups and give testimonies of what it's like to have those STDs; of how grueling and taxing it is to be married (bec. marriage is soulbusting work, that is clear to me from watching couples and hearing their accounts, and from the relationships I had in my own life); have women come in who are single mothers, telling how hard it is to live that way.

When you are between 13-25, the most powerful weapon against caving in to lust is FEAR (and of course, avoiding being alone with the source of the temptation, LOL!). Fury that it is, out-of-control libido responds best to FEAR and more FEAR.

[Sonya]

I teach abstinence education and as a single christian late 30 something I can attest to the power of the Holy Spirit and fear of God as to why to remain celibate. It isn't easy. I have a very high view of sex and marraige and the present movement in SG and complimetarian circles to marry early just because of fear of sexual immorality IMO is a huge mistake. Whatever happened to fighting temptation and being in the very center of God's will in this regard?Waiting for someone who is compatable with spiritual maturity in their walk with yours and gifts and callings?
"Shepherding Your Wife." Yeah right! Baloney! Any man or woman who willing wants to assume a parental role with their spouse will not have a marraige. Maybe in about 10 years IF they catch up.The whole church will see it and have to deal with your screw up anyway. Personally the thought of that embarasses me. Pastors need to 'buck up' and stay strong in this regard and tell the truth. Too much of the results of the sexual culture of today has crept into the church and saints have lowered their standard in this area.
BTW for those who understand covenant.. "it might not have been His will but it is now"... kind of a deal. Too bad deal with it! (A bad marraige is one way to be conformed into the image of Christ no? Basically you will crucify each other.)

[macht]

I think if twenty-somethings got married sooner, it would be a good thing, but I don't think getting married soon would help fix the statistics that Veith gave. (Unless you are suggesting that kids get married at 15 and 16.) What you would tell a 15 year old single guy about sex has to be different than what you would tell a 25 year old single guy about sex. "Getting married" might be a good solution for the 25 year old, but it isn't for the 15 year old.

[DLE]

The problem is, in large part, due to the way we work. The work world is based on broken ideas of Social Darwinism. The work world says the only fit worker is the college graduate, and the only fit college graduate is the one who attends the swankiest college.

We have to break this cycle. It is destroying our families and our young people.

We put off marriage largely because of college. Barna has shown that college is also where most Christian teens succumb to sex and to turning their backs on their faith.

Despite this, we Christians offer zero alternatives to this damnable system! Why?

We need to start our children in family training when they are as young as ten. Teach them how to handle money. Teach them about work. Teach them about the opposite sex. Teach them how to be responsible husbands and wives. Teach them how to handle children. Teach them how to build a family. Teach them these things in a community environment as if their lives depend on them--because they do!

Some may not wish to hear this, but even in good families, young people will not get all this training. Having wise people in our churches teach it helps get around the blindspots of individual families. The way your family raised you and the way mine raised me are different. We need input from multiple sources to understand that our families are different. Family of origin issues are a major stumbling block in many marriages. A more Christian community-based teaching approach can counter any lacks in any one family.

This also throws the responsibility back on the Christian community. WE are responsible for young marrieds, to help them, to be their community. Sadly, our lives are too disconnected and that is one reason young marrieds fail. We must restore a true vision for real community that breaks the hyper-individualism we suffer from in America, the very thing that damn young marrieds (and young people in particular).

We must...
Reform our understanding of community
Reform how we raise our children
Reform how we provide our children advanced education
Reform our notions of college
Reform the way we work.

All these reforms will create the atmosphere we desire for our young people.

Now who out there is bold enough to go countercultural and do these hard things?

[Steve]

Amen Danny!