JOLLYBLOGGER

One more on the long goodbye

I knew this would happen - I would write a farewell post, and a bunch of you would send some nice notes which make we wish I wasn't quitting blogging.  Well, I've no intention of doing a poor man's blogging imitation of Brett Favre and retire only to keep unretiring. 

Actually, as I said in my last post, I didn't say I would never blog again.  I still have times where something is on my mind and I have a burning urge to blog it, but usually that passes.  There was a time I was like the guy in that cartoon who is sitting at a computer and his wife calls him to come to bed from another room and he says "Just a minute honey, someone is wrong somewhere on the internet."  So, of course he has to stay up to set all of those kinds of folks straight.  I no longer have that urge, but I still may want to put something up.

If it happens it will be over at the new places - jollyblooger.wordpress.com.  I do plan to put up at least one post dealing that cryptic little comment in my last post about some of my qualms of consciense when it comes to blogging.  Nothing will be earth shaking but it may help me get some things off my chest.  And who knows, if I can deal with my conscience and these matters of seeking a name for myself, I may bind the wherewithal within to feel compelled to blog a bit.

Still, I just wanted to put up one last post here as my account settings say that payment is due tomorrow and I won't be paying up.  I think Typepad may take this whole thing and reduce it to one of their micro blogs, which is a free blog.  If that is the case I'll check back in a few days and make sure the template looks ok and then I'll just let it sit there as long as typepad lets its sit.  At the risk of flatteriing myself, all my old posts should still be there on the micro blog so if someone remembered something I said way back when that was helpful, it might be there.

But mainly I just wanted to say thanks one more time.  When I wrote that last post announcing I was shutting down several of you sent very nice comments here and on the wordpress blog.  Words fail me in expressing thanks for the overwhelming kindnesses I have received from you, the readers.  I do hope to maintain some level of contact with you on the new blog, but regardless, please know of my deep abiding appreciation for your many kindnesses and prayers.

Happy New Year, Time to Shut 'er Down

Hi everyone, Happy New Year.  

I hope you all have a terrific new year, just wanted to let you know the time has come to shut down the blog, at least here in it's Typepad manifestation.  I was one of those folks who got on the blogging wave back when it was the cool thing but over the last few years just haven't had the fire to blog much. 

Also, I'm on Typepad and actually pay money for the hosting so there's just no real reason to keep this up. BTW - let me just say that Typepad is a terrific service and I highly recommend it to anyone who really takes blogging seriously or maybe needs a great blog for an organization or wants to make money.  But, since I'm no longer in any of those categories there's no real reason to keep paying

However, I do have a blog over on wordpress.  I think I must have reserved that back in the day when I was trying to be the uberblogger and trying to make sure I had the lock on the Jollyblogger name.  I had forgotten about that till recently but check it out I did and still have an account there at jollyblogger.wordpress.com.  If I get going again I'll get going there. 

I don't really have any great burning urge to keep blogging but neither am I against it.  From time to time I do think I ought to keep up or re-start some kind of something to leave some wisdom for my kids, on the outside chance that someday they'll want to know what they're old man thought about things.  Also, I do sometimes think I may want to keep writing to encourage fellow cancer sufferers.  So, I may keep something going over there at the wordpress blog. 

I actually have had some pangs of conscience about my blogging practices.  I know to say it this way sounds overly-introspective, probably quite neurotic, and maybe even a like a grab for sympathy through gratuitous public self-loathing (ok, I had to try to throw a few big words at you, just in case I don't get back to blogging).  Truly through, one of the problems with being sick all the time is that you have lots of time to lay in bed and be introspective, which is not a good thing.  Nevertheless, during those times I've had several Genesis 41:9 moments about many things and blogging is one of them.  In an effort to clear my conscience, or maybe just an attempt at self-induced catharsis I may go ahead and do a post on that at the new place.  For now let's just say that blogging offers a great, if illusory, vehicle for engaging in self-promotion,  something to which I am particularly prone. 

Still, though I sometimes wonder about the value of things I have blogged and deeply regret much of the time I have wasted online I am particularly grateful to so many of you who have read this and have encouraged me over the last few years.  It probably goes without saying but I was devastated when I found out I had cancer two years ago.  My family and church family was the greatest help in those days, but all of you who expressed encouragement and concern online were a great help, especially knowing that so many of you were praying for me.  In fact, all of the comments here and on FB, along with many e-mails, were a huge boost for my family, you encouraged them as they tried to encourage me.  

So, for the innumerable kindnesses I have received from all of you I am eternally grateful, and for those kindnesses I am very happy for this season of blogging.  I will say that my health is stable right now, so I have nothing new to report - and that is good news.  I will continue to post health updates on Facebook and probably at the wordpress blog.  And like I said, who knows - I may get the desire to blog again over there and I hope that if I do some of you will follow me there - jollyblogger.wordpress.com

God bless and thanks for the memories.   

Some Great News

Hi everyone, here's a health update.

I got some bloodwork results today and my bloodwork is the best it has been since I was diagnosed with cancer.  The CEA is a blood tumor marker for colon cancer.  A person without cancer would have a 0-3, a smoker might have up to a 5 or a 6.  Anything over that indicates metastatic activity.  People with severe metastatic activity could have numbers in the hundreds, mine was in the 70's when I was first diagnosed.

Today, my CEA was 1.2.

My family and I are rejoicing in God's goodness to us in this and I wanted to share it with you.  Again, many thanks to all of you who have prayed for me over these last two years.

This doesn't mean I'm without cancer.   My latest scans show many tumors still present.  But they have all shrunk.  And although this CEA marker isn't the last word, when the number decreases it shows that the cancer is being surpressed.  So, even though the tumors are still there the cancer is being suprressed.

As far as treatment goes, I am currently on a maintenance treatment with a drug called "Avastin."  The medical folks call this a "biologic," it's different than what we typically think of as chemo.  Avastin has always been one of the drugs I have gotten in my chemo cocktail, but now it is the only thing I am on.  It doesn't have near the side effects as the others.  The only real side effects are bleeding and high blood pressure.  I haven't had any bleeding, and the blood pressure is being managed with medication.

These days I am still pretty fatigued and sleep a lot, but I am thankful that most of the other ugly side effects I had when I was on the full regimen are gone.  My nurses have told me that chemo patients can struggle with fatigue for up to 5 years, so it actually helps to know that - though I wish I had more energy this fatigue is not unusual.

The plan now is to continue the maintenance treatment and I'll get these blood tests every couple of months or so.  I will have another CT scan in January.  If the CEA goes up or other blood stuff gets goofy or if the scan shows tumor growth then we have to consider other things.  But for now, for at least the next 2 months I get to live a fairly normal life, just going in for the maintenance treatment every other week.

So again, thanks first and foremost to God for these days of respite.  And also, many, many thanks to all of you who have prayed for me and my family.

The Trouble with Miracle Cures

I've tried to cut down on the cancer posts a bit.  Cancer tends to dominate your life once you have it and one way of not letting it not dominate your life is to talk about other things so I've been back on some of the other stuff lately.  But I came across a post from David Darlington over at In The Agora today that I needed to share.

David is also dealing with cancer and, like most everyone with cancer I suppose, is also dealing with a steady stream of friends offering miracle cures.  It would have taken me thousands of words to say what he said here succinctly.  He has given me permission to reprint this post so please read this and carefully consider his words if you know someone who has cancer or some other serious illness.

Greetings! I hope this letter finds you well. I’m dropping you a quick note today to express my appreciation for all you’ve done for me during my cancer trial this past year. Your love and support means more than I can express in words, and your actions have lifted me up in my time of need.

But if I may be so bold, there is has been one area where your assistance has been more of a distraction than an aid. I am speaking of your passing along of miracle cures and alternative therapies you’ve heard about or read on the internet. While I appreciate the intent behind you sending me these things, they have generally been of little constructive use. Cancer patients are bombarded daily with helpful suggestions about beating their disease, and separating the wheat from the chaff is so often an overwhelming task, especially as most alternative cures have no scientific evidence that they contribute to one’s well being.

Since President Nixon declared War on Cancer in 1971, the government has spent hundreds of millions of dollars fighting this disease, with about the same level of success that it has had in its other “War on…” efforts, like Poverty, Drugs, or Terrorism. That is to say, marginal. Yes of course, there have been some significant breakthroughs in chemotheraputic drugs and, more recently, biologic agents like Avastin. But there is still a ways to go. As my friend, you know my general skepticism towards government spending and of the government’s ability to bring about massive advances in science and technology. But, if cancer could really be cured by that asparagus diet email that was sent around, or that cottage cheese and flaxseed diet Dr. Google recommended, do you really think the government would have spent all this money fighting cancer? Don’t you think that if these common foods could really cure cancer magically, we’d know this already?

And another thing—supplements. I read your most recent issue of Life Forever magazine (or whatever it was called). I’ve kept an open mind about these things, but if an article about the benefits of a certain supplement is accompanied by a full page ad for that supplement brought to you by Life Forever Inc., doesn’t that get your skeptic sense tingling just a little? Aren’t you the least bit concerned that they’ve cherry-picked the scientific studies that showed their supplements in the most favorable light?

Now please don’t call me a hypocrite on this issue. You’ve been to my apartment and seen the vitamin bottles on top of my refrigerator. The first is your standard supermarket multivitamin. Doctors’ opinions on these things range from positive to “meh.” Most will tell you that you don’t need them if you have a good diet, but most Americans’ diets are so poor that taking a vitamin supplement as an adult is not a bad idea. The next bottle, fish oil supplements loaded with Omega-3s, are hot and trendy right now I know, but there is some evidence that this “good fat” helps with inflammation and other heart issues. And since most Americans don’t eat a lot of fish—I can’t blame them, as our fish stocks have enough mercury that Soviet Russia would be proud—having fish oil supplements doesn’t seem like a bad idea. The next bottle contains Vitamin D3, which has been proven to help cancer patients, as tumors tend to suck the vitamin away from other parts of the body.

So my friend, before you forward me something, please think first. Don’t just send it along because it might be “helpful.” Consider whether or not there would be any logical or scientific reason for your suggestion to work. You know how sore I was when, the very day I was diagnosed, my primary internist tried pushing the Mediterranean Diet, and how relieved I was when my oncologist said basically, “dude, you already have cancer. Eat whatever you want as long as it doesn’t make you sick” (BTW, still love Dr. Marshall).

Despite my comments above, I appreciate the support you have given me the past year. I appreciate the free dinners, the prayers, the nights in together, and the rides to Georgetown for treatment (and yeah, I’m aware that parking at GUH costs more than parking at an NHL playoff game. They should make it health insurance deductible). I’m starting a clinical trial in a couple weeks, so your continued prayers would be appreciated. Thank you for all you’ve done.

Much love and warmest regards,
DMD

We Live the Given Life, not the Planned

A quote from Wendell Berry:

We live the given life, not the planned.

Reminds me of the pithy little saying - "Man plans, God laughs."   Both of those quotes comport well with divine sovereignty and the doctrine of vocation.  Could change the way we look at life.

Better to be 500 Years Behind than 5 Minutes Behind

I found the following quote attributed to Joseph Sobran.  The "quote-r" doesn't reference the original source and I'm not familiar with Sobran so if anyone knows the original source please do chime in.  Sobran said he

"had rather be in a church that is 500 years behind the times tha one that is five minutes behind the times, huffing and puffing, trying to catch up."

Thanks to commenter DT for below for setting me straight.   What I had quoted above is apparently a bit off - maybe done from the reader's memory.  Here's the actual quote:

"It can be exalting to belong to a church that is five hundred years behind the times and sublimely indifferent to fashion; it is mortifying to belong to a church that is five minutes behind the times, huffing and puffing to catch up."

Also, DT gave the original source for the quote - an article called "Notes for the Reactionary of Tomorrow."  I started reading that article and it is long, but very profound, especially for those who want an insight into the nature of conservatism.

The Old Things are New

This quote from G. K. Chesterton hits home on so many levels. 

WHATEVER makes men feel old is mean -- an empire or a skin-flint shop. Whatever makes men feel young is great -- a great war or a love-story. And in the darkest of the books of God there is written a truth that is also a riddle. It is of the new things that men tire - of fashions and proposals and improvements and change.  It is the old things that startle and intoxicate.  It is the old things that are young.  There is no sceptic who does not feel that many have doubted before.  There is no rich and fickle man who does not feel that all his novelties are ancient.  There is no worshipper of change who does not feel upon his neck the vast weight of the weariness of the universe.  But who who do the old things are fed by nature with a perpetual infancy.  No man who is in love thinks that any one has been in love before.  No woman who has a child thinks that there have been such things as children.  No people that fight for their own city are haunted with the burden of broken empires.  Yes, O dark voice, the world is always the same, for it is always unexpected. 

G. K. Chesterton, The Napolean of Notting Hill, p. 157

 

An Apologetic for Using the Private Means of Grace

Last week I did a couple of posts on bible reading and prayer.  In the first one I talked about my friend "Bill" who knows he needs to read the bible and pray every day, feels guilt and sinful for not doing so, yet still never seems able to motivate himself enough or feel guilty enough to stay consistent with his quiet times.  I tried to bring some grace into the discussion and help Bill deal with some of the guilt. 

In the second one I started to offer a non-guilt-inducing apologetic for reading the Bible and prayer.  Then I got side tracked.  I started looking at the means of grace and got going on the priority of preaching and corporate worship.  I argued that preaching and public worship takes precedence over private devotion. My good buddy Dan Phillips chimed in that we ought not to think of private devotions vs. public worship in an either/or fashion and he is right about that.  However, I think that it's probably worth a little more spilled ink, keystrokes and pixels to defend the importance the public and corporate, only because it is neglected.  But again, Dan is right and here's attempt 2 at what I started to post the other day on an apologetic for using the private means of grace. 

1. Don't think of it is law

I know we have covered that but it is worth saying again.  Paul said that he would not have known what it was to covet had the law not said "do not covet" (Romans 7:7-8).  I wonder if we sometimes fail to have "quiet times" because we make a law that says "thou shalt have a quiet time," or "thou shalt not fail to have a quiet time."  I can remember that when I first came into faith the joy and delight of my life was to read the bible and pray.  I prayed at all times and read the bible every chance I could.  If I was doing something else I couldn't wait to get home or get to my room to read the bible and pray. I really only started to struggle with bible reading and prayer when I learned that a Christian had to read the bible and pray and was given a quiet time notebook that I had to fill out every day.  

I'm not blaming those who said I should have quiet times, just saying that I did what sinful people with sinful natures do when given a rule.  Also, I understand that when you first come to faith there is a kind of "honeymoon phase" where everything is new and exciting and I probably would have slacked off anyway.  But still, any time you make a law of something the sinful nature kicks in and resists. 

The Curse of Individualism in the Church

Sometimes I feel rather Shakespearean in my posts, although in all the wrong ways.  As a committed individualist I approached my Christian life, for most of my Christian life in individualistic terms.  I never gave thought to how my pursuit of my own spiritual growth negatively affected others.  Now, as a pastor I see myself all too often.  So, I feel Shakespearean in the "methinks the lady doth protest too loudly" sense.  But protest I will.   Just because damaged the cause doesn't mean I can't help others avoid my folly. 

Came across the following words in Mike Horton's book Made In America. 

The Puritan was concerned that even his calling served the neighborhood or commonwealth rather than himself.  He hardly doted on himself.  Even religious activities were not to be done from selfish motives.  God has justified him, having punished Christ in his place.  Acceptance had been freely given, not achieved.  Therefore, even developing one's personal relationship with Christ at the expense of the community was viewed as antisocial and, consequently, anti-Christian behavior.  

An Apologetic for Using the Means of Grace

Yesterday, I blogged about my friend Bill's struggle to be faithful to his quiet times and if you read the post you will see that I tried to divert his attention from himself, his performance and his failures to follow the law of the quiet time to think on the merits of Christ on his behalf.  My hope in that dialogue was to free Bill from the sense of guilt he brings with him to the reading of the Word of God and prayer, so that he could bask in the goodness of God and hopefully develop a desire to read the Word and pray instead of being driven by some kind of performance objectives he needs to live up to, or conversely, fear that if he fails to have quiet times that God is going to get him. 

Having said that, I left an incomplete picture in that post.  The truth is that all of the things I shared with Bill to try to alleviate his guilt and show him the grace of Christ, all came from the Word of God.  I would not have those things to share with him had I not received them from the Word of God.  It is essential that we be in and under the Word of God at all times if we are to know and experience the grace of God.  Prayer, based upon the Word of God is a wonderful means of access to and communication with the God of the Word. 

So in what follows I am offering an apologetic, or reason for getting into the Word of God and prayer under the heading of using the means of grace.  As I wrote the words below it became too wordy and I'll split it up into another post.  As I wrote the words below the post kind of evolved into an apologetic for hearing the Word of God and I think I'll just go ahead and let it stand on that.  We get very wrapped up in the private reading of the Word and private prayer, when the big deal is public worship, preaching and corporate prayer. The public use of the means of grace sets the stage for the private use of those means so I hope that what follows helps you understand and appreciate the most important aspect of the means of grace.  Tomorrow or next week I'll go ahead and let this flow into some more thoughts on the private use of the means of grace. 

1. The Word of God and Prayer are gifts, graces, not law.

As Scott Clark says here " The private devotional life is not a law, it is a grace. It is not a metaphorical whip with which to prod Christians to godliness, it is the natural outgrowth of union with Christ."  

Is the gospel of any use to the Christian?

I have a concern/fear/worry that most professing Christians don't understand the significance of the gospel for their lives nor do they appreciate all that Jesus has accomplished on their behalf.  That concern is mainly driven by the fact that the "they" in the last sentence has been me for most of my Christian life. 

Which is not to say that I've got all of this figured out.  But I have been given a season of weakness where I have had to come to grips with the fact that I have nothing to offer to God.  In truth I never had anything to offer to God and neither do any of us, it's just that I thought I did.

It seems to me now that almost all of us have embraced a mode of Christian living where we come into the faith via the gospel then set it aside as we seek to grow in Christ.  It seems to me that our mode of Christian living is usually the pursuit of self-improvement or getting better. 

Here's a paraphrase of a couple of conversations I had recently with a dear friend that illustrates this.  The name has been changed here, but I'll say up front that "Bill" is a true Christian who loves the gospel but who stuggles with guilt and feelings of condemnation over his failures to be all that God wants them to be.  I've known him long enough to know this is a long term problem, and I've also known myself and other Christians long enough to know that this is a common struggle.  Let me also say that I have a close enough relationship with "Bill" that I felt comfortable being more direct than usual in these conversations and I'll also mention that "Bill" has given me permission to share all of this.

Bill: Do you have a regular quiet time?

Me: Not really.  (I know that is probably shocking, but see here and here for a more biblical perspective on the "law of the quiet time").

Where is our attention focused?

The old Chinese proverb, which may in fact be a curse, says "may you live in interesting times."  I am living in interesting times, interesting to me, and maybe me alone.  I am in the midst of a great battle for my health which at times discourages and deflates me, yet in my weakness the grace of Christ has become more and more manifest and dear to me than ever.

For the most part I have little energy with which to engage the tasks I am called to do, but I am in a season right now where I do have a bit more energy and am busy trying to do some things I haven't been able to do for over a year.

Our church has had several families leave in the last year, yet we are also seeing several new families joining with us because they have found a place which gives them the gospel in it's fulness and the undiluted Word of God. 

So, it's ups and downs, ups and downs.  But here is what I find the most - the ups come when we turn our attention to what Christ has done for us, the downs come when we turn our attention to all we must do for Him.

When I am physially weak and unable to perform the tasks that come with my calling as a preacher I am down, especially when I look at all that goes undone.  Now that I have a bit of energy I am getting some of those things done. Yet, the thought occurs to me that Jesus' love for me and the value of His atoning work on my behalf is the same on days when things are done and undone.  My performance may go up and down, but the value of His work on my behalf never wanes, so which will I focus on and which will I take comfort from?

With our church, when people leave or complain the reason is almost always some variation on the theme of what we as a body have failed to do or be for Christ.  When people join us and show enthusiasm for who we are and what we are doing it is almost always some variation on the theme that they have heard from us the good news of all that Christ has done for them, and they can rejoice in this good news.

To me it all comes down to where our attention lies, where our focus is and where is our source of delight.  Zechariah 3:1-5 shows the different kinds of attention, or foci, of different kinds of beings:

 ¹Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the LORD, and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him. ²And the LORD said to Satan, "The LORD rebuke you, O Satan! The LORD who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Is not this a brand plucked from the fire?" ³Now  Joshua was standing before the angel, clothed with filthy garments. ⁴And the angel said to those who were standing before him, "Remove the filthy garments from him." And to him he said, "Behold, I have taken your iniquity away from you, and I will clothe you with pure vestments." ⁵And I said, "Let them put a clean turban on his head." So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him with garments. And the angel of the LORD was standing by.

Satan's attention will always be drawn to the filth in the lives of the people of God, as individuals and as the church.  Satan will always accuse and will always publicize, privately and publicly, the filth.  It's all he can see.  The Lord and His angels will see the covering.

The odd thing here is that, though Satan is the father of lies, in this case he was not lying - Joshua was filthy and worthy of the accusation.  Yet God did not let the accusations stand, He removed them and covered them.  This is a wonderful picture of the atoning work of Christ.

It's a wonderful insight into the way we view the church and our fellow believers.  Do we see our churches and fellow believers with the eyes of Satan or with the eyes of God.

What is the most apparent thing when you look at me - are my disease, compromised productivity for the kingdom of God and failure to live up to my potential as a Christian and a pastor the things that are most apparent?  Or, is there something I have done in my life which you might consider good?  To see those things are to see me with the eyes of Satan.  But the eyes of God see how Christ has given grace for my weakness, accomplishment by His work on the cross for my failures in service and forgiveness for my sins.

What is most apparent when you look at your church - is it the church's failure to be what Christ has called that church to be?  Conversely, are you proud of all that your church has accomplished for Christ?   To be disappointed with your church's failures or to be proud of it's accomplishments for the Kingdom are both evidences of seeing with the eyes of Satan.  To see your church with the eyes of God is to see a community of people who are marked by atonement, not accomplishment, and to rejoice for and with them that they are always recipients of the forgivenss of Christ.

What is most apparent when you look at yourself?  And here I am speaking to Christians in particular.  Do you mostly see your filthy garments and do you spend your life trying to wash yourself clean?  Or, are you driven by a feeling that there is something you must do for God or be for God?  When you look at your life do you see nothing but failure in being who God has called you to be?  Or, when you look at your life do you see someone who has offered and performed some valuable services to God and His kingdom.  All of this is to see yourself through the eyes of Satan.  Hopefully you see yourself as a sinner and can see the filthy garments on yourself.  If you don't see that then Satan has blinded you.  But do you see yourself as a sinner in need of atonement, or covering from Christ, or do you see yourself as a sinner in need of self-improvement, who needs to be a better Christian.  To see yourself as a sinner in need of atonement at all times is to see yourself with the eyes of Christ, to see yourself as someone who needs to improve or get better is to see yourself with the eyes of Satan.  And by the way, if you see yourself as a sinner always in need of atonement, can you see that the atonement is always there, the blood of Christ is always covering your sin and failure?

In short, is Christ and His work at the forefront of your attention in this world or is your performance and the performance of others at the forefront of your attention.  To see the first is to see the world through the eyes of God, to see the latter is to see with the eyes of Satan.

Question on a couple of curriculums

Hi everyone, I have a question.  This is mostly for church and ministry leaders but any input would be welcome.

I have just come across a recommendation from a trusted source for two curriculums on training for missional ministry.

One is called "The Tangible Kingdom."  There is a book by that title, a "Tangible Kingdom Primer," and a website devoted to training this stuff. 

The other is the Acts29 Kit by the Navigators.  Please note that is not affiliated with Mark Driscoll, Mars Hill - Seattle or the Acts29 Network.

Just looking for info on these - has anyone tried them?  What's your experience? 

I'm particularly interested in hearing from anyone from a confessional tradition, but any feedback would be appreciated.

A Two Handed Grip on the Sword of the Spirit

Hi friends and neighbors.   I've had a few folks ask me about the blog lately and I think I'm going to ty re-up it.  Back in the day when I had a wide readership I was writing kind of to proces and express my own thoughts and I was also always sticking my nose in major theological and ecclesiastical issues of the day.  I developed a wide readership but not many of those were members of my church.

As I try to re-up the blog I'm going to try to self-consciously focus on topics of utmost relevance to my church, the local one, not the universal one.  At the same time I hope that these kinds of topics will still be of interest to the wider church. I won't try to conduct church business here on the blog but will blog on biblical and theological topics relevant to things we are dealing with.  One thing I'd like to do - and this will help build continuity with what I used to blog - is offer some sermon related material.  Often, a preacher prepares more during his study during the week than he is able to share in the sermon and a good deal gets left on the cutting room floor. So, I'll share some of that.

For now I'll mention that I am doing a series on the law of God and I'm taking the old tack that sees the law and gospel as the two parts of the Word of God, both needing to be preached together.  The older and more conservative Lutherans are the most noted for this approach, but this is also a foundational matter in the Reformed tradition.

I mentioned today that, as disciples of Christ, we are apprentices of Christ who are called to learn to use the tools of the trade.  Our main tool of the trade is the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, and I offered a word picture of thinking of the law and gospel as the two hands by which we grip the sword, the Word of God.  To properly handle the Word of God we must be able to distinguish the hand of the law which contains commands, prohibitions, and threats, from the gospel which contains words of promise, provision and redemption.

Since I'm just using this as a kick-off post to help get me back in the groove of blogging I'll stop there, except to emphasize that law and gospel must be properly distinguished and noted if we are to apply the Word of God to our lives. For now here's a couple of links which may be helpful. I'm working my way through these first two books:

C. F. W. Walther - The Proper Distinction Between Law and Gospel - a traditonal Lutheran treatise, maybe the magnum opus from the Lutheran tradition on the law and gospel. 

Edward Fisher - The Marrow of Modern Divinity - a reformed treatise, combating the errors of legalism and antinomianism.

Quotes on Law and Gospel - this is a compilation from Scott Clark at Westminster West of quotes from Calvin and others in the reformed tradition on the law-gospel distinction.   This is part of Scott Clark's ongoing defense of the law-gospel distinction in the reformed tradition, showing that this is not only a Lutheran distinctive.

Health Update 9-16-10 and a Few Thoughts on the Kindness of God

Hi everyone it's me, the blogger formerly known as the Jollyblogger.  Just thought I'd pop in to say hi and see what it's like to blog again. 

Over the last few months chemo really got to me so I didn't do much of anything, but I'm kind of coming out of the fog now and thought I'd go ahead and give you an update. 

I had a CT scan a couple of weeks ago and the results are good.  I found out that I actually have 5 or 6 tumors in my lungs, so that wasn't a happy thing.  But they have been there all along and the reason nobody made a big deal of it apparently was that there were only two that were big enough to be of any concern. 

The good news is that, in the 18 months or so that I have been on chemo all of the tumors have shrunk significantly.  The biggest tumor was obviously in my colon, hence the surgery in December of 08 and the next biggest one was about 2.5 inches in my life.  There was another one in my liver almost that big.  The good news is that both of those tumors have shrunk till they are only about a centimeter now and all of the tumors in my lungs are a centimeter or less.  There was no dramatic change in size in any of them since my last CT scan in April, but there were a  couple that may have shrunk a millimeter or so. 

The best news is that I am getting a break from chemotherapy.  It was getting me down and I was getting to the point where I feared having to continue with chemo almost as much as I feared getting a bad report on the CT scan.  So I have the month of September completely off with no chemo at all.  Then in October I'll go on a maintenance regimen with a medicine called Avastin.  Technically, the medical personnel don't put this one in the same category as "chemo" drugs.  It's what they call a "biologic" (I think that's the word) and it works by cutting off blood supply to tumors.  This has been a part of the cocktail I have been getting all of this time and come October it will be the only thing I'll get.  The only real side effects it has is that it increases blood pressure and it can cause bleeding.  So I do have to watch out for bleeding but over the whole of my treatment I have had only minimal bleeding in my mouth and nose and it's been much less over the last few months.  My BP has gone up a bit but I have some medicine. 

So the bottom line is that I expect minimal if any side effects.  I'll see the doc again in November and I suppose we'll schedule another CT scan at that time.  If there is no growth in tumors I'll get to stay on this maintenance regimen.  But needless to say I am very happy that I can look forward to almost three months without chemo.  

Right now I've been sick all week and I don't know if I'm still just recovering from the chemo or if I have come down with something, but I do expect to get better and start enjoying life.