Hi everyone. I'm not sure how many folks are still reading this blog but to those of you who are thanks, and I especially thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Here's a few random updates.
The storm my daughter let you know about here on the blog back in January has passed. I'm staying away from anti-depressants and I also didn't go back to Hopkins. I know that Hopkins is one of the great medical institutions in the world and is doing much good, but things didn't go well for us there. I am now at the small local no-name unknown hospital around the corner with the non-world famous docs and am receiving absolutely wonderful care. Some day I may write a post singing their praises but suffice it to say for now that Lynette and I are at ease regarding all phases of my treatment for the first time.
I am back on chemo. After the trouble in January I fled from doctors and treatment for a few weeks until I could hook up with this new team. But I did resume chemo two weeks ago. There have been two drugs in particular that have given me the most side effects throughout this experience and I am not on either at this time. So I responded very well to my last treatment.
I'm also feeling very good emotionally these days. The dark cloud has lifted and even though my prognosis hasn't changed I am at ease, and so is Lynette.
There has been much to glean from this experience and I hope to share some at some point. When I was first diagnosed, after the initial trauma passed, I made it my goal to show the world how a Christian could face something like this with trust in Christ and with courage and joy. Along the way my attitude has changed a bit. I don't have quite the same compulsion to put myself out there publicly the way I used to. Awhile back I read a post by Carl Trueman called "Fools Rush in Where Monkeys Fear to Tread," and this pretty much undid me as a blogger. Trueman's post is all about the ways we engage in shameless self-promotion on the internet. Sadly, this is me. It would be one thing to desire to face cancer with courage and joy, it is quite another to desire to display myself to the world as one who is full of courage and joy. Even with all of the salutary effects of these hard days, that desire for attention is alive and well in me. I have always known that blogging was mainly a way of making a name for myself, but being sick has crushed my ambitions enough that an article like Trueman's could finally sink in.
At the same time I do believe God is doing something genuine through this and there is gold in this experience worth sharing and it may be that I can find a way to share some things in a helpful manner. I hope I can, but if not you won't have missed anything. Any thing I write will be simply along the applications and implications of the theology of the cross and there are far better writers on that subject than me. If you need a place to get started read "The Hammer of God" by Bo Giertz. That is now #2 on my all time list of most influential books outside the bible, right behind Pilgrim's Progress.