Listening - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

All I can say to this is "amen!"

The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for brethren is learning to listen to them. It is God's love for us that He not only gives us His Word  but also lends us His ear. So it is His work that we do for our brother when we learn to listen to him. Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.

Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. They do not find it among Christians, because these Christians are talking when they should be listening. But he who can no longer listen to his brother will soon no longer be listening to God either; he will be doing nothing but prattle in the presence of God too. This is the beginning of the death of the spiritual life, and in the end there is nothing left but spiritual chatter and clerical condescension arrayed in pious words. One who cannot listen long and patiently will presently be talking beside the point and be never really speaking to others, albeit he be not conscious of it. Anyone who thinks that his time is too valuable to spend keeping quiet will eventually have no time for God and his brother, but only for himself and for his own follies. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 97-98)

HT and thanks to Molly Friesen at Peacemakers for this.

Comments

[Jan]

I'm wondering what this quote means to you now. Do you have someone close to you who is listening?

[David Wayne]

Jan - this quote means a lot now and has for some time. A few years ago I heard that Francis Schaeffer made the comment that if he has 1 hour with a person he's spend at least 50 minutes listening and 10 minutes talking and I have tried to follow that model in my interactions with people through the years. I can't say I've always faithfully followed Schaeffer on this but I have tried.

As for my current situation the people around me have been great. There are a few "talkers" in my life but they aren't so bad and for the most part even those given to talking have shared encouraging things, I can't think of anyone who has said anything inappropriate to me. But like I said, for the most part everyone has been great. Probably the thing that has meant the most to me was the time one of my elders said "what are you most afraid of" and then just let me talk. But like I said, I have been uniquely blessed - most everyone has practiced what Bonhoeffer is speaking of here.