After 20 Years We're Off to a Good Start

Here's a pic of Mrs. Jolly and I at McCormick and Smick's - a seafood restaurant down at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore.

This was taken Wednesday night, August 22, 2007, on our 20th Anniversary.  Yep, 20 years, and yep, it has gone by fast.

You know you are getting old when you start sounding like your parents and we are starting to sound like our parents.  We told our waitress it was our 20th and we started talking about kids.  She has some young kids and Mrs. Jolly said "don't blink," it'll go by that fast, and I said "I'm too young to have kids this old" - our oldest turns 18 in December.  So, yes indeedy, we do sound like our parents.

These 20 years have gone by way too fast and I wouldn't trade them for anything.  I won't try to wax eloquent on keys to a happy marriage except to say that sound theology is the foundation for a sound marriage.  I truly believe that if a married couple can grasp total depravity and grace then they are on a sound footing - they won't need much extra advice.  If we don't grasp total depravity and grace then all the marriage books and seminars in the world won't mean a thing.

Total depravity is key because it reminds me that my wife is married to a sinnner, so I need to go easy on her - she's got a tough life being married to me.  It also reminds me that she is a sinner so I don't have to burden her with a load of expectations she can never meet.  Grace reminds me that her performance is not the basis of my acceptance of her any more than my performance is the basis of God's acceptance of me.

I won't say that those two things are operative every day in our lives, as there are plenty of times when we act in un-graceful ways.  But God is good and always brings us back and keeps us centered on grace.

As to how I feel about Mrs. Jolly, let me quote someone else. We have this wonderful older couple in our church named Martin and Peggy Smith who have been married for somewhere north of umpteen years.  Martin says this of Peggy - "even when I'm mad at her, I'd still rather be with her than anyone else."  That's how I feel about Mrs. Jolly, she is my wife, my lover, my confidant, my best friend, and there is no one I'd rather be with.